Uh Oh

It's about that time folks...

Finals are here, and I was surprisingly not that stressed about it.

Until about 8 minutes ago when I was writing out my schedule of homework, exams, and papers due.

Then it hit like a sudden bullet in the stomach. I'm feeling serious anxiety.

Maybe because I have to write a paper due Thursday about why Michelangelo sculpted the statue of David

the way he did and how it relates to the biblical story of David & Goliath. 

Oh, and I have to throw in some random facts about how it relates to renaissance art too...

Anddd all the facts have to come from my textbook for that class. 

The one where I read the same sentence so many times and I couldn't even tell you what I just read.

And it might be that I have 5 exams to study for and I'm probably the worst test-taker of all time.

Maybe I'm stressed because I have recently become the world's lightest sleeper and the sound of my own

breathing seems to wake me up lately. So, I don't sleep well these days.

Living in the "middle" apartment doesn't help much. 

Maybe it's because I haven't gone grocery shopping in weeks because I'm trying to save $ for Christmas.

Don't worry- I'm still eating. I could never give up food, I love it too much.

Maybe it's because I've been spoiled with having some of my family here for a week and loved it so much

that now I can't concentrate and I have a serious case of homesickness.

It's funny, 30 minutes ago I was getting sleepy. Now I'm wired and I feel like my heart is beating 

out of my chest at 100 mph. I think I'm having a slight anxiety attack. 

I've never had one before but I'm pretty sure it's happening right now.

Well, now that I'm wired, shaky, and feel like my heart is going to explode, I might as well

get started on that wonderful paper. 

Honestly, probably doesn't matter if I spent a million hours on it because my T.A. for that class grades it.

And she's mean, rude, and a ridiculous grader. I mean that. Plus- I don't think she likes me.

Can you tell I'm holding a slight grudge? Yeah, I won't try to hide that one.

She ain't my favorite person.

Cheers to finals! Hopefully I make it out alive.

His Plan

Isn't it amazing how you think you have your life planned out &

 then something can change it so quickly?

I find Heavenly Father's sense of humor sometimes a little confusing, but hey, I can't complain.

Sometimes it's so difficult to remember that it's going to work out how he plans.

And  that is meant for every aspect in life.

If you are living your life the way that you know you should be, and you're truly happy,

his plan is going to fall into place. Right before your eyes.

And one day you'll suddenly realize that everything you've worked for or suffered through

was meant to take you exactly to where you are right now.

Maybe you don't have your entire life planned out, but everyone has at least some knowledge

of where they would like to be in the near future.

I do.

But sometimes God has a different plan...

Sagey Girl's #2!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAGEY GIRL!!

No words can express how much I miss seeing your little face all the time.

One day, I'll live close enough to watch you grow up and shower you with

hugs and kisses all the time- yeah I'll be the smothering aunt!

I love you Sage. Happy #2!

Halloweenie '12

So this Halloween, I decided to go with the all-time classic Marilyn Monroe.

I looked up a tutorial on how to do her make-up, and I even shaded my nose to make it 

look more pointy, like hers.

I felt quite accomplished with the make-up. Too bad you can't see it that well in the pictures.

Madison was a really, really geeky nerd. He played his part too well.

 This picture has horrible lighting, but I had to put it up just for me Uncle Sam. 

He was the best hill-billy I've ever met and he never once went out of character.

 

We decided to go dancing at the street party at Guru's restaurant, which was actually pretty fun.

Anyway, here's to next year now!

Now it's the real holiday season and I'm. so. excited.

Why the Laugh?

I don't know what it is about cat videos that make me laugh so hard.

I don't even like cats, but for some odd reason I find cat videos hilarious.

I'm odd, I know.

Here is a video that I have watched well-over 30 times just today.

These days, I appreciate laughing more than ever.

It's comforting.

So, make sure you watch the whole thing and have your volume turned up.

To Live...

Sometimes I think I get too caught up in the moment.

I get too stressed with school, responsibilities, the future... that I forget about the big picture.

I forget just how blessed my life is. How blessed I am to have the opportunity to know who I know.

To have the friends and family that I have, the opportunities given to me. I could go on & on.

As important as being responsible and getting things done is, I think it is just as important

to look at the big picture and understand your life as a whole.

We may stress about jobs, majors, money, etc. But this life wasn't meant for us to suffer from worry.

There are things that we can control, and things out of our control.

I think that enjoying your life and actually living it is just as important as the normal responsibilities.

How sad would it be to one day look back and think, 

"I wish I would have laughed more, spent more time with the ones I love, taken that vacation I've always dreamed of, spending the couple extra dollars on that dessert I really wanted at that restaurant, spent more time growing as a person spiritually, individually... helping others with even the most simple tasks."

Even though sometimes I get so caught up in stress and worries, there are always things to bring my mind back to what is most important.

For example, after my Stats class today, I stopped to use the restroom. As I closed the stall door, I saw that someone had left a note saying, "Show your smile, because it's beautiful."

Now, as cheesy as that is, it could have changed someone's day.

Someone else wrote below it on the same paper, "Thank you. I needed that."

Someone actually took the time to respond to the note with a "thank you", and the odds of the person who wrote that note in the first place is extremely slim

.

It's the simple things in life that really are the most precious.

It's the simple things that make us not just routine-based creatures.

Instead of just going through the motions of life, the small things are what make us live it.

Tonight, I got in the jacuzzi with Madison, his roommate Dustin, and my roommate Lauren.

It started to lightly rain and the wind was slightly blowing, and I decided to get my hair wet.

(That may sound weird that I would even mention that, 

but you have to understand I never get my hair wet in public spas, so it was a rare thing for me).

I just decided to not worry about anything, and completely relax. 

All of us sat and talked and enjoyed the weather. Light rain is the perfect jacuzzi weather, in my opinion.

We had the pool area to ourselves, and that never happens either, so I was enjoying every minute of it.

Then these 3 guys walked through the gate and got in, but never said a word.

I then saw them start to sign to one another and I suddenly got really excited.

You see, I never get to use my knowledge of sign language anymore, and it makes me sad.

I love sign language, and I wish I had the opportunity to sign more.

Madison told me to talk to them, but I got a little nervous. I haven't signed in almost a year.

But I got myself to do it, and it was so nice.

I surprised myself with how much I actually remembered, which was a lot.

I then became the translator in the hot tub between everyone. 3 deaf guys, and a group of hearing friends.

We had about a 25-30 minute conversation and just enjoyed the company, and I felt this sense of peace.

We said goodbye and went our own ways, but that small experience just made me think...

This life is full of so many small experiences and details that we just overlook.

I hope I become more aware of these throughout my life, because I think that if I were to really remember and take in those moments, this life is going to be even better than I had expected.

Peter Pan said it best... To live would be an awfully big adventure.

Tomato Basil Parmesan

This week, I decided to be extra organized. I planned out my dinners for the week.

So, since I absolutely love and deeply appreciate Pinterest, I decided to stick with one of their recipes.

I made the most legit soup I've ever made, and it was DELICIOUS.

I'm a huge fan of Tomato Basil soup, but I'd never had it with Parmesan cheese added.

I was so proud of myself, and I learned what a "roux" was, apparently.

I love soup.

I just love how it offers so many different flavors in just one little meal.

And there ain't nothin like a cup of soup when it's a little chilly outside, we can all agree on that one.

So, take my advice and make the soup. It's pretty delicious and I have tons of left-overs.

Which is perfect for a poor little college student like myself!

Here's the recipe:

Tomato Basil Parmesan Soup Recipe

Major Problems

By the title, I didn't mean I have major problems...

I meant I've been having "Major" problems, meaning I've had a pretty hard

time deciding what I want to major in. I'm still not 100% sure to be honest.

But I've been really looking into things and trying to figure out.

People say, "Oh don't stress too much about it, you've got time" Um... not really, no I don't.

I don't want to stress and take all of these classes that in the end I didn't even need.

So, I've now met with different advisers from different departments that I've been interested in.

Nursing has been on my mind a lot. I thought that was it, I was going to push myself past my

limit and get that nursing degree because it's such a great job to have.

But then suddenly, this other major option has been coming up  a lot.

Family Life- with maybe an emphasis in Human Development or just Family.

I know that career options for this major aren't very broad, unless you get a Masters degree.

Who knows- maybe I'll end up in Grad School someday.

I'm currently taking an SFL100 class "Strengthening Marriage and Family" and I love it.

I love learning about families, patterns, how to deal with common problems in the family, etc.

I find it very helpful and so interesting. It covers so many things and I just love it.

The program is a lot shorter than Nursing, and it could easily lead to nursing eventually, if I choose to.

This morning, I made an appointment to talk with a Nursing counselor and to be honest, 

I didn't feel that good about it after. I was told that my GPA is way too low, that I would need to just take

classes to boost my overall GPAwhich would take about 2 major semesters and a term. At least.

And then I can maybe apply to the program to be considered. I said "Ok, I can do that".

Then I realized I'd have to keep about an A average all the time to be considered competitive.

Which I could try and accomplish, but the classes are anatomy, chemistry, organic chemistry, etc.

People, let me just tell you I am sucky in these subjects (pardon my language).

So I could push and practically kill myself with stress and anxiety trying to get A's in all of these classes

plus even more classes like this for the next 2 years of my life, apply for the program, and not get in?

Then have to retake those classes and try and boost my GPA even more.

Or if I was accepted, the program is three years and the classes are similar plus I would have to have experience at hospitals, which is completely fine with me.

But I've heard from many people, surprisingly, that a lot of BYU nursing graduates aren't getting jobs very easily due to the program. It is very "textbook" concentrated, if that makes sense.

So social skills are lacking, and common knowledge of how to act is not very high on their list.

(I'm not making this up, there is an article about it, and I've heard from so many people that this is the case)

But the reality is, I don't exactly have very much interest in any of these classes. So what do I do?

Now, with Family Life, the program is shorter, and interests me with the classes.

I'd enjoy my college career. I could graduate faster, and if I ever have to move, I won't be tied down to one place for the next 6 years of my life. Which is comforting to me.

But as I spoke to the advisement desk, they told me that they had been having the exact discussion earlier that day. There was a girl who worked there that was in the exact position as me.

This major can actually lead to nursing. What a lot of jobs are concerned about is it you have a degree.

Even nursing jobs look for degrees in anything to be honest.

If I graduate from this program, I would have a degree, and if I still wanted to pursue nursing,

I could apply to a nursing school or even the nursing department at BYU 

(I don't think I would apply to BYU to be honest).

Then the nursing program at a "specified" school is much more direct and all-around.

Plus, it would on average only be 2 years.

So the amount of time I would be in school is the same, but I'd be a lot more "free" in Family Life.

And who knows, maybe in a couple years, 

I'll find a really good, stable job and I don't want to do nursing anymore.

If only we could tell the future. Wouldn't that be nice? hah. 

I guess I'm just really excited to feel this good about a major, finally.

I signed up for a meeting on Monday to find more out about it before I make any decisions, but

I feel good. I feel good.

Stress&PMS

Don't worry- I'm not going to give any unnecessary female information on this post.

Today was just one of those days where I feel "fried". My brain that is.

This semester, my classes are not exactly easy, but do-able.

The one thing they are though, is consistent work. 

I never have a day where I can just completely relax, because my mind is a constant to-do list.

Even on the weekends.

I know I shouldn't complain, but man I would kill for just 1 day of no worries.

And the fact that I actually am PMS-ing probably doesn't help that much.

This doesn't happen to me every month, only sometimes.

Where every single noise sounds like a horn in my ear, so irritating.

Where I am tired and my back aches.

Where I KNOW I'm being a bratt, but it's so hard to control the "bratty" emotions.

Why does this happen?

It's so annoying and really dumb if you ask me.

Screw hormones.

So, as you can probably already tell, I don't think that PMS and stress are a good combination.

The end.

Free-Fallin'

Ladies & Gentlemen...

A little over a week ago, I took a fairly large risk and jumped out of a plane!

Now I know a lot of people think I must be crazy, but I've grown up seeing my

entire family do it at least one time. So for me, it wasn't a question, I was doing it.

And I actually wasn't nervous at all.

Maybe it's because I'd seen multiple people do it before me? 

Who knows.

Maybe it was because my mind was so concentrated on surprising Madison because this was my present

to him for his 21st birthday. But the dumb guy knows me so well- he guessed on the drive over,

so I told him "Yep, we are going skydiving." 

That's when I caught him off guard because he was kidding when he guessed.

The point is, it was awesome. I always thought you would have the stomach-dropping, free-fall,

 "roller-coaster" feeling when you were dropping, but you actually don't get it at all.

Not for a second.

My instructor explained it to me that it's because your body has already adjusted to the moving velocity

from the airplane, so when you jump, it's like you're just floating.

And that's what it felt like... floating.

The first picture was taken right before we climbed into the tiny airplane,

and the second is when we were actually in the plane, about out ready to jump.

I will admit that my stomach did tense up and I got pretty nervous when the my toes were over

the oh-so-high edge of the plane. By that point, I was past the point of no return.

We (my instructor and I) actually flipped out of the plane, and it was so quick

I don't even remember it really.

It took me a couple seconds to control my face at first.

This camera guy was taping me and I just remember staring at him... blank-faced.

Then I thought, "What am I doing?! Make a face or something!"

Then my mind came back to reality and I "woke" from my sudden loss of brainwaves.

The free-fall was about 45 seconds long or so and I can't even describe it.

It was mind-blowing, so fast, and for a while I panicked because I thought I couldn't breathe.

You know how when you stick your head out the window of a car, and it suddenly feels like no matter how hard you try, you cannot get oxygen to your lungs? Yeah.

My instructor warned me I might feel this way, but he said 

"If you can't breathe, it's because you're holding your breathe. Relax."

So once I realized it actually was because I was holding my breathe, I let go and enjoyed the ride.

I never bought a video of my fall, it was too much money and I was already broke as a joke.

Madison bought a video, and you can see my jump and a couple things of me, but I don't know

how to add it to my blog, nor do I even have the video with me.

But here is a really cool picture of Madison jumping;

I realize that it's a crappy picture, but I don't know why it's so blurry on here.

But you get the point.

The time when we were just parachuting down was actually so relaxing.

The view was amazing. I could see mountains, the actual Salt Lake, sun starting to go down, etc.

My harness did cut into me a little, but nothing I can complain too much about.'

2 things I wish could've been different:

1) I wish I would have taken it in more when I was free-falling, but my mind was so in shock, I couldn't completely comprehend what was happening.

2) I wish I would've given my instructor a mint or something before the jump.

Because his breathe was not doing so good. Or maybe it was B.O... not quite sure to be honest.

Being strapped to his body probably didn't help because his breathing "target/area" was my face.

But hey, it happens to everyone. At least he was a nice guy.

Soooo, if you're contemplating whether to do it or not, just do it.

It's worth it.

September 11th

Every year, when I watch videos of this kind, it honestly breaks my heart.

American will never forget the people who lost their lives this day, their families,

and the heroes that sacrificed their own lives to try and save others.

Too Emotional

I know we've all had those moments where you just. can't. stop. your. emotions.

Sometimes it can be really embarrassing when it happens.

No matter how hard you try- you can feel that bubble in your throat rising and it's like no

matter how hard you try and mentally calm yourself or ease your breathing,

ain't nothing gonna stop it.

When you get so excited that you feel your voice rising inside and all you wanna do is yell and jump.

When you're watching that moment where it's so touching that you can't stop smiling.

Or when you're so angry that you literally can feel your blood boiling, and wouldn't be surprised if actual steam starting shooting from your ears. When your voice starts to automatically raise levels no matter how hard you try and control it and keep it calm.

When you think of that one thing that you're most terrified of and your stomach starts to knot up and you feel suddenly nauseous.

When the spotlight is quickly transitioned to you and you feel the blood slowly creep up to your face.

Or when you're so frustrated, and sad that you just cannot do anything about that forming bubble in your throat that seems to be pushing all the liquid to your eyes and suddenly you have tears streaming down your cheeks and your making small, or sometimes large, gasping sounds.

When you feel so much gratitude that no words can escape your mouth and once again, the tears appear.

I may or may not have had one of those experience today.

No matter how much I mentally tried to snap out of it- there was nothing I could do.

Interesting how that works, isn't it?

U.S.A Today

This post is not meant to show any kind of political viewpoint- just so you know.

It's just my opinion about something I saw on Facebook.

I'll be the first person to admit that I am not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to politics.

I should really do more research, but it's something I have yet to divulge in.

But let me just say one thing- I think we live in such a blessed, beautiful country.

We all have opportunity some way or another in our lives, and a lot of that credit goes to our forefathers.

I logged into my FB, and this picture with a post was the first on my newsfeed.

Out of curiosity, I started reading the comments that people had made.

Now I didn't watch these speeches last night, and this is focusing on Mitt Romney's wife who spoke.

I am LDS, I do believe in my whole heart the importance of family and I

agree with the church's standpoint on family.

The Family- A Proclamation to the World

I am not against women having jobs or anything of that sort.

But I do believe that the most important "job" you can have on this earth is raising a family.

I believe that is why were put on this earth in the first place.

Back to the FB comments I read- some of them make me so frustrated...

A specific woman was commenting about the speech, saying how she thought Ann was pathetic, etc.

That she knows nothing because all she does is stay at home and clean the dishes and bathe the kids.

Well, she said a lot more harsh things than that.

Since when is being a good mother a bad thing?!

Growing up, my Mom was always a stay-at-home mom. And you know what?

She was always my best friend and always will be- not saying that if she would've worked it 

would've changed that, but she was always taking care of me, loving me, cheering me on,

picking me up from school, watching my soccer games, going to any event where my name was said.

She is the most amazing woman I know, and I will forever have an enormous amount of gravity for what she has done for my family. She never had a huge, successful career. 

That does not make her any less of a woman.

So to sit there and tear someone apart because they made the decision to be the caretaker of the 

household instead of working for some big company is just pathetic and I sympathize for this girl who has such a hardened heart and a closed-mind.

I don't know what Ann Romney spoke about, but tearing her apart for being a Mom and choosing that path is so immature and just wrong. She may not have the degrees or office experience as others who spoke, but she is still an American. She is till in this campaign, and she is still a person.

Obviously- Mitt Romney is LDS, so naturally that puts the spotlight on the church a lot more than usual.

I've heard all the phrases come out about the Mormon religion- and I would be surprised

if I didn't hear people making bad remarks about it.

Another woman commented on that same post saying, 

"How could we support someone who puts a man by the name of Jospeh Smith above Jesus Christ?!"

Let me make one thing very clear- no one, and I mean NO ONE is put above

the Savior in church. The official name of the Mormon religion is

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints".

Now- I'm not offended by comments like that because I know what I believe, but why people

think that just confuses me. I see where they come from, since the church does talk about Joseph Smith a lot of the time, but that doesn't mean that we put him above Christ.

All Christian religions believe and love Moses for what he did and how great of a prophet he was.

It is the same for Smith. He was a prophet that restored the church. The Mormon church...

So of course we are grateful for him! He made huge sacrifices and ended up being killed for his beliefs-

so of course it is someone that we love. He was an incredible example in so many ways and 

his story his phenomenal to latter-day saints and if nonmembers were so also 

really study his story with correct documents, it's undeniable that his story is incredible and touching.

Basically- the point I'm trying to make is that citizens of the U.S. need to look at this bigger picture.

I'm not talking about this campaign.

If people are attacking others the way a few of the people who commented on

 that Facebook post did, then what are we

all coming to? We all may have different views religiously, politically,etc.,

but we have one thing in common and that's the fact the we are all

American citizens.

That we are all human beings.

Unnecessary Belting

Who would've known that for some people, church is the place to truly let their colors shine.

"Colors" meaning talents.

I've had this experience more than once in my life, but today was probably one of the worst.

I'm sitting in church and this interesting young man behind me was ready to

step onto his very tall pedestal for the rest of the audience to see, or in his case, hear...

The organ starts playing, everyone is flipping to the right page in the hymn book,

and this guy is sitting up tall ready for his performance.

So the song begins and this guy (I kid you not) start singing at the top of his lungs.

You know, he really wasn't half-bad, a little pitchy and obnoxious, but it wasn't a horrible voice.

That's beside the point- he was singing to make sure God and all the angels in heaven were sure to hear.

So instantly, my eyes widen and I get a little stiff.

Naturally my friend Lauren and I (who have had a history of 

unstoppable laughter at the most inappropriate times) start to slowly shake with silent laughter.

I'm not kidding- the guy was out of control. I'm all about singing the hymns, but to that point where it's basically echoing off each wall and literally hurting my ears, there's a problem.

In my opinion anyway.

Man, I wish I would've recorded it so I could let you hear.

At first I thought it was hilarious, I had a hard time controlling myself, but then it got super obnoxious.

And very unnecessary. 

So- for all you hymn belters out there, do us all a favor and tone it down a bit.

Please.

Bee-Sting Bummer

Well folks, my last couple of days here in the good old CA summer has had an interesting end.

Last Saturday, there was a summer storm and I walked outside to look at the lightening 

(which I love and am so looking forward to the Provo storms soon),

and suddenly felt this sting on my foot, thinking I'd just stepped on a tiny sliver or stick I bent to pick it out.

Then the pain increased and as I lifted my foot, I saw a squirming freakin bee stuck between my toes.

Just awesome.

You know, I forget how much those little buggers hurt... b/c they actually really are pretty painful.

My history with bees isn't to great. I'm allergic.

Not the "Oh no, I suddenly can't breathe and I'm dying" allergic, but the 

enormous, disgusting swelling, red, hot, make me feel out-of-it kind.

My sweet dad hurried and put a bunch of mud in a plastic bag, along with ice and 

literally duck-taped the bag around my ankle. Actually, it was pretty funny and his effort was pretty cute.

That night I had to go to wedding, so I was up all night on it... which probably wasn't the smartest decision.

So Sunday rolls around, and it's getting bigger, hotter, stings more, etc.

I ignored my Mom (who was in SF at the time) to go to Urgent care for antibiotics.

Then Monday comes and seriously, it's waking my up from a dead sleep and it's hideously big.

Like you could just go ahead and call my left foot "ogre foot". Anyway, that was my nickname for it.

So I went to Urgent Care, turns out that it was pretty bad. I had a nice infection happening.

The doctor prescribed me some lovely steroids and antibiotics, oh my favorite part,

a nice tetanus shot. My mom was making fun of me, b/c I suddenly turned pretty scared.

I don't like shots. I can handle getting my blood taken, but shots? No, no.

Especially hearing my sister's horror stories from those babies.

One almost passed out, the other threw up.

Turns out it wasn't that bad, but it did hurt. Especially when you could feel the medicine sting &

 spread through your arm. No thanks.

I was told not to walk on it for a couple days, so I've been taking it pretty easy.

I can't complain, but then again, I'm only here for like 3 more days and I can't walk a lot.

Not the most fun I've ever had, but I'm not taking my forced lazy days for granted because

classes start in a week and a half hah.

This is right after I got stung:

The first day after 

I don't think the picture does it justice. It was just so gross and swollen

 And this is me icing it, trying to get it to stop itching. Trust me, I feel like I could just itch it so much that it'll bleed. I wake up in the night itching it like crazy.

Hope you enjoyed my bee-sting story!

Facebook

Ohhhhh, Facebook.

I remember when I transitioned from Myspace to Facebook.

Actually, I remember begging my parents to let me have a myspace in middle school, & they said no.

When I did get one, I loved it. Then, I started getting sick of it. 

I'd heard of Facebook then, but wasn't interested. I called it the "mormon Myspace".

Why? Because all of the mormon people that weren't allowed to have Myspace reverted to FB.

So, naturally, like everyone else and their mom, I eventually got a FB.

Once again, I loved it.

This was many years ago. Wanna know my feelings now? 

I hate it.

It's stupid, annoying, pointless, and it's a waste of my time.

I know what you're thinking... Why don't I just delete the stupid thing?

Truthfully, I'm afraid I'll lose touch with people, meaning my good friends.

It's hard to always keep in contact when you're busy, I'll be the first to admit I'm horrible at it.

Plus, I'll lose pictures that aren't saved on my computer.

But truly, I just wanna delete it. But. I. Can't.

This probably makes no sense to you, and I can't tell you why I'm posting about it, 

but here I am, posting away.

Maybe it's the people I'm friends with on FB... people I never really talk to in real life.

Their annoying complaining, drama, idiotic comments, and so on.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if they themselves really believe the things they say on that website.

If I see one more picture of people that are at the "U.S. Open" (surfing competition),

I might just delete it for good.

I'm all about Instagram now, I'll confess. It's simple, just a picture. 

No pointless talking, empty words, telling the media world too many personal things about yourself, etc.

Who knows- odds are I'll probably be saying the same things about Instagram in the future.

By then, I'm sure something new and fresh will have arrived.

My conclusion is that I'll simply just get on FB(a few times) to keep my pictures, or to see my friends.

No more annoying newsfeed of people that I now nothing about, and vice-versa.

It's Your Choice

Sometimes it's so hard to be the bigger person and choose to let things go.

I know so many people (I admit that I've been guilty of this as well) that choose to be unhappy.

They only see the negative in things, and they dwell on them.

In my opinion, it is usually harder to be unhappy rather than be happy.

I mean, if you were to be comfortable with yourself and you're making good decisions,

it shouldn't be hard to be happy.

To be unhappy, you must be unhappy with yourself or what/who you surround yourself with.

Don't complain about not ever being happy, because usually it's your own fault.

Make the choice to be happy... it's probably easier than you think.

That Moment

Have you ever had that moment when suddenly everything seems to fall in place?

Whether you've been stressing about a test, family, friends, money, heartbreak, the list goes on and on...

Then, just one little moment that seems to make it able to "see the light at the end of the tunnel".

I recently had a moment very similar. A moment that I've been waiting a LONG, LONG time for.

Long awaited peace.

Just. one. moment.

And I can keep on walking down this beautiful, little road I'm on.

But starting now, I'm putting a little spring in my step.

Maybe even a throw in a whistle here and there.

Money Please

You know, I'm not one to disagree with well-known phrase, "Money can't buy happiness".

That's true... but let me just say, it sure does help!!

See, when I have money in the bank, I feel less stressed. I know I'm not limited to eating

ramen that I'd been saving in the cupboard for when I knew I'd be uh... poor.

Now- I'm living at home for a little while, so I'm fortunate enough to not have that specific problem.

But when people go around saying that money doesn't matter, that it's just material,

I think to myself, "Oh so they don't care to have money. To feel secure financially, yada yada yada.

Lies. Lies, lies lies lies lies."

Why do people work? Why do they strive to better themselves and rely on getting promotions?

Why do we go to school? To educate ourselves, get degrees, graduate, and (drum roll please)

GET A GOOD-PAYING JOB! Why do we do all this and go through all these troubles?

Oh you know, to be smarter, more social people... No.

We do it so that in the future, for those who are fortunate enough, we can make big bucks.

People WANT money. When you have money, you don't have to worry about buying the cheapest

brand of bread, but you can buy the healthy, whole-grain, delicious kind.

Yeah, we all know what I'm talking about.

 I just wish I was rich.

I wish I didn't have to worry about prices, funding, gas money, etc.

I'm obviously not working at the moment, but I have my job when I go back.

So I'm going a good 2 months without a paycheck. It's nice to be relaxing at home,

but it sucks when I look at my bank account and I'm down to the minimum.

I'm blessed with loving parents who are willing to take full care of me at the moment financially.

So I'm not stressing right now, just when I move back I know I'm going to be b-r-o-k-e.

I just wanna splurge on whatever I feel like.

I'm not money-hungry... but I am determined to feel secure when I'm older when it comes to this issue.

So- I'm gonna do what I gotta do to make that positive outcome of being at least comfortable.

Ok- well hopefully VERY comfortable...

please and thank you.

The Mindset of Time

I don't know if others think about the same strange things that I do...

At times I feel that if someone were to open my mind and listen to my thoughts, they'd think I was crazy.

I like to think I'm a thoughtful person. Not just with other people, but I mean

I am filled with constant thoughts. 

I went to the gym last night with my sister, and we were talking about running and sometimes how

it feels like no matter what, you just cannot continue. I told her one of my tactics was to make up a story.

When I work out (mainly running), I will make up a story in my head. Usually involving myself.

I build and build on it as I work out to distract myself from the heavy-breathing and motion of my tired legs.

For me, it works.

Now-this may seem strange- but I do the same when I'm driving. I'll make up stories to entertain myself.

It's almost always depends on whatever music I'm listening to. If you know me, you know

that I am always listening to music. In the car, working out, when no one is around, etc.

Also, something else I've thought about, especially recently, is how I take in the scenery.

I've basically lived in the same house my entire life, not including when I moved to college.

I love it. It's the perfect size, the perfect colors, it's got the "homey" touch that is so rare these days,

and it always includes the people I love most. I've grown up here, I love this house.

But what I'm trying to get to, is how I look at my house. Each room, the colors, the windows, and so on.

When I was younger, I viewed it so differently. It's hard to explain over typing, 

but it's like when I was younger, the way I saw my kitchen and family room is so different

than how I see it now. Even though the t.v is in the same area, the island is still there,

the colors have changed, but that's not what I mean.

I "see" it from a different perspective. I see my street differently, and especially my backyard.

When did those changes happen? Why did they happen?

My views change over time. As I get older, I still continue to change the ways I look at things.

The mountains in Provo have changed for me from how I used to see them.

I feel like this connects with so much more than just vision. I think about how differently I used to think.

I would be so embarrassing for people to see how I used to act in 8th, 9th, and 10th grade.

Not necessarily act, but think. For example, in middle school & high school

 (before I started dating Madison), there were a couple boys that I "liked".

I was usually friends with them first, and during those times, hugging was the thing to do.

If the guy I was crushin' on didn't hug me when he saw me, I thought something was wrong.

I'd think about it through the rest of my classes, and I'd put myself in a position to see him later.

Seriously? Embarrassing. Why did I think that way?

This may seem a little random and confusing, but I guess I've just noticed how your thoughts

unconsciously change over time. With age, experience, etc.

I wonder what I'll be thinking like in 10 years... or 40 years.

Now that's crazy.

Sweet Summertime

Well, sorry for mr recent posts, meaning the lack there of.

I've been living back at home for the past 3 weeks and will be until mid-August.

Here's a mini update on my days.

When I first arrived, Madison was lucky enough to take 10 days off and drive down with me and

spend those days here at our hometown hanging out with family and friends.

We went to Disneyland with Rachael, Shane, Olivia, and Bryce. The weather was perfect, it wasn't

too crowded, and we got to go to Club 33, thanks to Madison's Grandpa.

The lunch there was so delicious. Madison claimed they have the most tasteful soda ever, which I'll

admit for someone who doesn't drink soda usually, it was pretty dang good.

Tower of Terror

 Oh ya know, my own personal plate of desserts from Club 33... Yeah

Here is my handsome guy, who made the day happen and made it possible for us to have a fun time.

Anywho- enough of the cheesy Disneyland pictures.

For the remainder of the time he was here with me, we went to the beach, relaxed, saw "Brave", which I

thought was so cute, minus the little girl who spit up who-knows-what from behind me, getting all over Madison and I, and her annoyingly unapologetic mother... Yup, I felt so gross.

What am I supposed to do...scream at the little girl for spitting or (I don't wanna think about it) throwing

up all over me? No. I scream at her mother... Kidding, kidding. But it did put a damper on the mood.

We hit some golfballs at the range with his Dad, who is -let's just say- obsessed with golf.

We swam, played in the sun, and all the fun summer things you do when you have no responsibilities.

Then the dreadful day came where I had to wake up at 4:50am and drive him to the Long Beach airport.

Not my favorite morning, but we gotta do what we gotta do.

It's been so nice to hang out with my family and friends.

I wouldn't trade anyone for the world.

I just wish I still had a certain someone here with me to enjoy our time in the sun.

But, back to reality, I am so grateful Madison could spend 10 days here with his family and I.

The Lazy Life

So ever since I returned from Italy, I have felt a little lazy.

Not that I necessarily have been "lazy", I mean I've been working at least 6 hours every single day.

But I guess I just feel like I am just floating along because I'm not in any classes?

Or because my anticipation to finally go home is so close?

Actually- I know what it is. I'm not stressing about anything, so I feel lazy hah.

I feel like I've been lagging in my blogging recently, because I don't have much going on.

So here is to my lovely, random blog post dedicated to the pictures on my phone.

This will maybe give you a little taste of what my life has been like recently.

 These pictures are all from a little Sunday adventure into Provo Canyon that we took.

We went and looked at one of the tippity-toppity camp sites and looked around for about 10 mins...

Then drove all the way back down the mountain and drove to the waterfall to dip our feet.

Every day at work, my boss sounds out what we call "The Daily", updating us on any new

information. He usually sends a funny little picture with every one, and this one made me laugh.Probably the most awesome way to catch a criminal in your own house.

I told Wesley to smile- and this was his best effort... haha

Really though, look at those shiny, white canine pearls.

I'm happy he is "smiling", b/c we recently had his uh family jewels removed, but it hasn't 

stopped his bouncy, puppy personality.

We had to run to Petco on Friday to buy dog food.

Just before this, Madison & I tried out this Sushi place.

Madison ordered all you can eat sushi,while I was happy with just one CA roll, but the guy

is 6'6", he eats like a horse. That meaning, A LOT.

By the next round of sushi, he had definitely had his fill.

Anywho, we go to Petco, and walked past the cages of the oh so beautiful rats...

Okay, no offense to any loving rat-owners out there, but they are just disgusting.

Mice I can semi-handle, but a huge rat? ugh, ew, blahhh. One question-

Ever seen a male rat? Umm... I don't mean to be inappropriate, but I thought something was wrong

with the one I saw. I told Madison that he had a cancer tumor that dragged behind him.

Yeah well, Madison laughed at me and corrected me, telling me to look at the other ones.

I looked and they all had tumors?! Wait... that's disgusting. Their saggy little man parts were SO BIG.

Ew, ugh, blahhhh, no thanks.

Props to you rodent lovers, but I don't really join your little club. I'll stick with the dog party, thanks.

This picture is of Madison and Wesley checkin out those "mighty" mice.

Madison stopped me from trying to capture a picture on my phone, telling me that was weird.

Fine- so sorry I don't have a picture for you.

I went the canyon by myself yesterday. Just wanted some time alone, I guess you could say.

Brought a blanket, my ipod, and my scriptures, Did a little "pondering" time.

I was sitting under this big, beautiful tree, and the sun kept shining through blinding me.

At first I thought, "Seriously? Go away sun". Then I just lied back and watched as the sun moved through the tree, making the most bland, dark piece of bark kind of sparkle.

I sat there for an hour and a half I think- just enjoying being outside.

*So, as you can tell why I feel like I don't have a lot going on right now. 

MY life consists of random adventure, work, and well my dog, as always.

Yay for random posts!

Inspire

Sometimes I find it a little hard to be "inspired"...

I have my routine, that I don't mind changing, but sometimes it's a little hard to get yourself 

to actually take that first step in change and improvement.

It would be so much easier to just be set in your ways, wouldn't it?

But then what would the fun in life be? Same old thing every day? That's not exactly fun.

Comfortable, but not something that will make you wake up and feel accomplished.

Feeling the inspiration to make a change in your life is hard, but "so very beautiful" when the result surfaces.

I find it when I am most inspired, it's when I am outside in nature, or when I listen to certain music.

For example, whenever I listen to Paul Cardall's piano pieces, I feel at peace. 

It inspires me to be the person that I know I can be, even though it isn't always a walk in the park.

When I see a beautiful sunset, I get inspired. When I see pictures of my nieces and nephews, so innocent, happy, and young, I become inspired to do better. 

That hard part is keeping the inspiration so that you take action and change what you want to.

That's what is hard for me.

But I thought this quote was perfect.

"Life is hard, but so very beautiful."

Changing yourself can be difficult, but it can be beautiful.

Face Juggler

Sooooo, today I downloaded this app on my iphone called "Face Juggler".

It takes two people's faces and switches them. It's hilarious... and quite disturbing.

Thank goodness men are men and women are women.

I was laughing pretty hard with every single one of these pictures.

You'll see why:

qa

I rest my case.