It's Your Choice

Sometimes it's so hard to be the bigger person and choose to let things go.

I know so many people (I admit that I've been guilty of this as well) that choose to be unhappy.

They only see the negative in things, and they dwell on them.

In my opinion, it is usually harder to be unhappy rather than be happy.

I mean, if you were to be comfortable with yourself and you're making good decisions,

it shouldn't be hard to be happy.

To be unhappy, you must be unhappy with yourself or what/who you surround yourself with.

Don't complain about not ever being happy, because usually it's your own fault.

Make the choice to be happy... it's probably easier than you think.

That Moment

Have you ever had that moment when suddenly everything seems to fall in place?

Whether you've been stressing about a test, family, friends, money, heartbreak, the list goes on and on...

Then, just one little moment that seems to make it able to "see the light at the end of the tunnel".

I recently had a moment very similar. A moment that I've been waiting a LONG, LONG time for.

Long awaited peace.

Just. one. moment.

And I can keep on walking down this beautiful, little road I'm on.

But starting now, I'm putting a little spring in my step.

Maybe even a throw in a whistle here and there.

Money Please

You know, I'm not one to disagree with well-known phrase, "Money can't buy happiness".

That's true... but let me just say, it sure does help!!

See, when I have money in the bank, I feel less stressed. I know I'm not limited to eating

ramen that I'd been saving in the cupboard for when I knew I'd be uh... poor.

Now- I'm living at home for a little while, so I'm fortunate enough to not have that specific problem.

But when people go around saying that money doesn't matter, that it's just material,

I think to myself, "Oh so they don't care to have money. To feel secure financially, yada yada yada.

Lies. Lies, lies lies lies lies."

Why do people work? Why do they strive to better themselves and rely on getting promotions?

Why do we go to school? To educate ourselves, get degrees, graduate, and (drum roll please)

GET A GOOD-PAYING JOB! Why do we do all this and go through all these troubles?

Oh you know, to be smarter, more social people... No.

We do it so that in the future, for those who are fortunate enough, we can make big bucks.

People WANT money. When you have money, you don't have to worry about buying the cheapest

brand of bread, but you can buy the healthy, whole-grain, delicious kind.

Yeah, we all know what I'm talking about.

 I just wish I was rich.

I wish I didn't have to worry about prices, funding, gas money, etc.

I'm obviously not working at the moment, but I have my job when I go back.

So I'm going a good 2 months without a paycheck. It's nice to be relaxing at home,

but it sucks when I look at my bank account and I'm down to the minimum.

I'm blessed with loving parents who are willing to take full care of me at the moment financially.

So I'm not stressing right now, just when I move back I know I'm going to be b-r-o-k-e.

I just wanna splurge on whatever I feel like.

I'm not money-hungry... but I am determined to feel secure when I'm older when it comes to this issue.

So- I'm gonna do what I gotta do to make that positive outcome of being at least comfortable.

Ok- well hopefully VERY comfortable...

please and thank you.

The Mindset of Time

I don't know if others think about the same strange things that I do...

At times I feel that if someone were to open my mind and listen to my thoughts, they'd think I was crazy.

I like to think I'm a thoughtful person. Not just with other people, but I mean

I am filled with constant thoughts. 

I went to the gym last night with my sister, and we were talking about running and sometimes how

it feels like no matter what, you just cannot continue. I told her one of my tactics was to make up a story.

When I work out (mainly running), I will make up a story in my head. Usually involving myself.

I build and build on it as I work out to distract myself from the heavy-breathing and motion of my tired legs.

For me, it works.

Now-this may seem strange- but I do the same when I'm driving. I'll make up stories to entertain myself.

It's almost always depends on whatever music I'm listening to. If you know me, you know

that I am always listening to music. In the car, working out, when no one is around, etc.

Also, something else I've thought about, especially recently, is how I take in the scenery.

I've basically lived in the same house my entire life, not including when I moved to college.

I love it. It's the perfect size, the perfect colors, it's got the "homey" touch that is so rare these days,

and it always includes the people I love most. I've grown up here, I love this house.

But what I'm trying to get to, is how I look at my house. Each room, the colors, the windows, and so on.

When I was younger, I viewed it so differently. It's hard to explain over typing, 

but it's like when I was younger, the way I saw my kitchen and family room is so different

than how I see it now. Even though the t.v is in the same area, the island is still there,

the colors have changed, but that's not what I mean.

I "see" it from a different perspective. I see my street differently, and especially my backyard.

When did those changes happen? Why did they happen?

My views change over time. As I get older, I still continue to change the ways I look at things.

The mountains in Provo have changed for me from how I used to see them.

I feel like this connects with so much more than just vision. I think about how differently I used to think.

I would be so embarrassing for people to see how I used to act in 8th, 9th, and 10th grade.

Not necessarily act, but think. For example, in middle school & high school

 (before I started dating Madison), there were a couple boys that I "liked".

I was usually friends with them first, and during those times, hugging was the thing to do.

If the guy I was crushin' on didn't hug me when he saw me, I thought something was wrong.

I'd think about it through the rest of my classes, and I'd put myself in a position to see him later.

Seriously? Embarrassing. Why did I think that way?

This may seem a little random and confusing, but I guess I've just noticed how your thoughts

unconsciously change over time. With age, experience, etc.

I wonder what I'll be thinking like in 10 years... or 40 years.

Now that's crazy.

Sweet Summertime

Well, sorry for mr recent posts, meaning the lack there of.

I've been living back at home for the past 3 weeks and will be until mid-August.

Here's a mini update on my days.

When I first arrived, Madison was lucky enough to take 10 days off and drive down with me and

spend those days here at our hometown hanging out with family and friends.

We went to Disneyland with Rachael, Shane, Olivia, and Bryce. The weather was perfect, it wasn't

too crowded, and we got to go to Club 33, thanks to Madison's Grandpa.

The lunch there was so delicious. Madison claimed they have the most tasteful soda ever, which I'll

admit for someone who doesn't drink soda usually, it was pretty dang good.

Tower of Terror

 Oh ya know, my own personal plate of desserts from Club 33... Yeah

Here is my handsome guy, who made the day happen and made it possible for us to have a fun time.

Anywho- enough of the cheesy Disneyland pictures.

For the remainder of the time he was here with me, we went to the beach, relaxed, saw "Brave", which I

thought was so cute, minus the little girl who spit up who-knows-what from behind me, getting all over Madison and I, and her annoyingly unapologetic mother... Yup, I felt so gross.

What am I supposed to do...scream at the little girl for spitting or (I don't wanna think about it) throwing

up all over me? No. I scream at her mother... Kidding, kidding. But it did put a damper on the mood.

We hit some golfballs at the range with his Dad, who is -let's just say- obsessed with golf.

We swam, played in the sun, and all the fun summer things you do when you have no responsibilities.

Then the dreadful day came where I had to wake up at 4:50am and drive him to the Long Beach airport.

Not my favorite morning, but we gotta do what we gotta do.

It's been so nice to hang out with my family and friends.

I wouldn't trade anyone for the world.

I just wish I still had a certain someone here with me to enjoy our time in the sun.

But, back to reality, I am so grateful Madison could spend 10 days here with his family and I.