The Mindset of Time

I don't know if others think about the same strange things that I do...

At times I feel that if someone were to open my mind and listen to my thoughts, they'd think I was crazy.

I like to think I'm a thoughtful person. Not just with other people, but I mean

I am filled with constant thoughts. 

I went to the gym last night with my sister, and we were talking about running and sometimes how

it feels like no matter what, you just cannot continue. I told her one of my tactics was to make up a story.

When I work out (mainly running), I will make up a story in my head. Usually involving myself.

I build and build on it as I work out to distract myself from the heavy-breathing and motion of my tired legs.

For me, it works.

Now-this may seem strange- but I do the same when I'm driving. I'll make up stories to entertain myself.

It's almost always depends on whatever music I'm listening to. If you know me, you know

that I am always listening to music. In the car, working out, when no one is around, etc.

Also, something else I've thought about, especially recently, is how I take in the scenery.

I've basically lived in the same house my entire life, not including when I moved to college.

I love it. It's the perfect size, the perfect colors, it's got the "homey" touch that is so rare these days,

and it always includes the people I love most. I've grown up here, I love this house.

But what I'm trying to get to, is how I look at my house. Each room, the colors, the windows, and so on.

When I was younger, I viewed it so differently. It's hard to explain over typing, 

but it's like when I was younger, the way I saw my kitchen and family room is so different

than how I see it now. Even though the t.v is in the same area, the island is still there,

the colors have changed, but that's not what I mean.

I "see" it from a different perspective. I see my street differently, and especially my backyard.

When did those changes happen? Why did they happen?

My views change over time. As I get older, I still continue to change the ways I look at things.

The mountains in Provo have changed for me from how I used to see them.

I feel like this connects with so much more than just vision. I think about how differently I used to think.

I would be so embarrassing for people to see how I used to act in 8th, 9th, and 10th grade.

Not necessarily act, but think. For example, in middle school & high school

 (before I started dating Madison), there were a couple boys that I "liked".

I was usually friends with them first, and during those times, hugging was the thing to do.

If the guy I was crushin' on didn't hug me when he saw me, I thought something was wrong.

I'd think about it through the rest of my classes, and I'd put myself in a position to see him later.

Seriously? Embarrassing. Why did I think that way?

This may seem a little random and confusing, but I guess I've just noticed how your thoughts

unconsciously change over time. With age, experience, etc.

I wonder what I'll be thinking like in 10 years... or 40 years.

Now that's crazy.