Stress&PMS

Don't worry- I'm not going to give any unnecessary female information on this post.

Today was just one of those days where I feel "fried". My brain that is.

This semester, my classes are not exactly easy, but do-able.

The one thing they are though, is consistent work. 

I never have a day where I can just completely relax, because my mind is a constant to-do list.

Even on the weekends.

I know I shouldn't complain, but man I would kill for just 1 day of no worries.

And the fact that I actually am PMS-ing probably doesn't help that much.

This doesn't happen to me every month, only sometimes.

Where every single noise sounds like a horn in my ear, so irritating.

Where I am tired and my back aches.

Where I KNOW I'm being a bratt, but it's so hard to control the "bratty" emotions.

Why does this happen?

It's so annoying and really dumb if you ask me.

Screw hormones.

So, as you can probably already tell, I don't think that PMS and stress are a good combination.

The end.

Free-Fallin'

Ladies & Gentlemen...

A little over a week ago, I took a fairly large risk and jumped out of a plane!

Now I know a lot of people think I must be crazy, but I've grown up seeing my

entire family do it at least one time. So for me, it wasn't a question, I was doing it.

And I actually wasn't nervous at all.

Maybe it's because I'd seen multiple people do it before me? 

Who knows.

Maybe it was because my mind was so concentrated on surprising Madison because this was my present

to him for his 21st birthday. But the dumb guy knows me so well- he guessed on the drive over,

so I told him "Yep, we are going skydiving." 

That's when I caught him off guard because he was kidding when he guessed.

The point is, it was awesome. I always thought you would have the stomach-dropping, free-fall,

 "roller-coaster" feeling when you were dropping, but you actually don't get it at all.

Not for a second.

My instructor explained it to me that it's because your body has already adjusted to the moving velocity

from the airplane, so when you jump, it's like you're just floating.

And that's what it felt like... floating.

The first picture was taken right before we climbed into the tiny airplane,

and the second is when we were actually in the plane, about out ready to jump.

I will admit that my stomach did tense up and I got pretty nervous when the my toes were over

the oh-so-high edge of the plane. By that point, I was past the point of no return.

We (my instructor and I) actually flipped out of the plane, and it was so quick

I don't even remember it really.

It took me a couple seconds to control my face at first.

This camera guy was taping me and I just remember staring at him... blank-faced.

Then I thought, "What am I doing?! Make a face or something!"

Then my mind came back to reality and I "woke" from my sudden loss of brainwaves.

The free-fall was about 45 seconds long or so and I can't even describe it.

It was mind-blowing, so fast, and for a while I panicked because I thought I couldn't breathe.

You know how when you stick your head out the window of a car, and it suddenly feels like no matter how hard you try, you cannot get oxygen to your lungs? Yeah.

My instructor warned me I might feel this way, but he said 

"If you can't breathe, it's because you're holding your breathe. Relax."

So once I realized it actually was because I was holding my breathe, I let go and enjoyed the ride.

I never bought a video of my fall, it was too much money and I was already broke as a joke.

Madison bought a video, and you can see my jump and a couple things of me, but I don't know

how to add it to my blog, nor do I even have the video with me.

But here is a really cool picture of Madison jumping;

I realize that it's a crappy picture, but I don't know why it's so blurry on here.

But you get the point.

The time when we were just parachuting down was actually so relaxing.

The view was amazing. I could see mountains, the actual Salt Lake, sun starting to go down, etc.

My harness did cut into me a little, but nothing I can complain too much about.'

2 things I wish could've been different:

1) I wish I would have taken it in more when I was free-falling, but my mind was so in shock, I couldn't completely comprehend what was happening.

2) I wish I would've given my instructor a mint or something before the jump.

Because his breathe was not doing so good. Or maybe it was B.O... not quite sure to be honest.

Being strapped to his body probably didn't help because his breathing "target/area" was my face.

But hey, it happens to everyone. At least he was a nice guy.

Soooo, if you're contemplating whether to do it or not, just do it.

It's worth it.

September 11th

Every year, when I watch videos of this kind, it honestly breaks my heart.

American will never forget the people who lost their lives this day, their families,

and the heroes that sacrificed their own lives to try and save others.

Too Emotional

I know we've all had those moments where you just. can't. stop. your. emotions.

Sometimes it can be really embarrassing when it happens.

No matter how hard you try- you can feel that bubble in your throat rising and it's like no

matter how hard you try and mentally calm yourself or ease your breathing,

ain't nothing gonna stop it.

When you get so excited that you feel your voice rising inside and all you wanna do is yell and jump.

When you're watching that moment where it's so touching that you can't stop smiling.

Or when you're so angry that you literally can feel your blood boiling, and wouldn't be surprised if actual steam starting shooting from your ears. When your voice starts to automatically raise levels no matter how hard you try and control it and keep it calm.

When you think of that one thing that you're most terrified of and your stomach starts to knot up and you feel suddenly nauseous.

When the spotlight is quickly transitioned to you and you feel the blood slowly creep up to your face.

Or when you're so frustrated, and sad that you just cannot do anything about that forming bubble in your throat that seems to be pushing all the liquid to your eyes and suddenly you have tears streaming down your cheeks and your making small, or sometimes large, gasping sounds.

When you feel so much gratitude that no words can escape your mouth and once again, the tears appear.

I may or may not have had one of those experience today.

No matter how much I mentally tried to snap out of it- there was nothing I could do.

Interesting how that works, isn't it?